Tuesday, 16 December 2014

12 Posts from a Lunatic Asylum

On the first day of Christmas
My girlfriend gave to me:
An Ostrich with a Goatee.

On the second day of Christmas
My girlfriend gave to me:
Two Used Tissues
And an Ostrich with a Goatee.

On the third day of Christmas
My girlfriend gave to me:
Three Jumpers
Two Used Tissues
And an Ostrich with a Goatee.

On the fourth day of Christmas
My Girlfriend gave to me:
Four Kegs of Beer
Three Jumpers
Two Used Tissues
And an Ostrich with a Goatee.

On the fifth day of Christmas
My Girlfriend gave to me:
Five Magazines.
Four Kegs of Beer
Three Jumpers
Two Used Tissues
And an Ostrich with a Goatee.

On the sixth day of Christmas
My Girlfriend gave to me:
Six Massive Diggers;
Five Magazines.
Four Kegs of Beer
Three Jumpers
Two Used Tissues
And an Ostrich with a Goatee.

On the seventh day of Christmas
My Girlfriend gave to me:
Seven Packs of Pringles
Six Massive Diggers;
Five Magazines.
Four Kegs of Beer
Three Jumpers
Two Used Tissues
And an Ostrich with a Goatee.

On the eighth day of Christmas
My Girlfriend gave to me:
Eight Mouldy Mushrooms
Seven Packs of Pringles
Six Massive Diggers;
Five Magazines.
Four Kegs of Beer
Three Jumpers
Two Used Tissues
And an Ostrich with a Goatee.

On the ninth day of Christmas
My Girlfriend gave to me:
Nine Monkeys Bowling
Eight Mouldy Mushrooms
Seven Packs of Pringles
Six Massive Diggers;
Five Magazines.
Four Kegs of Beer
Three Jumpers
Two Used Tissues
And an Ostrich with a Goatee.

On the tenth day of Christmas
My Girlfriend gave to me:
Ten Drunken Hipsters
Nine Monkeys Bowling
Eight Mouldy Mushrooms
Seven Packs of Pringles
Six Massive Diggers;
Five Magazines.
Four Kegs of Beer
Three Jumpers
Two Used Tissues
And an Ostrich with a Goatee.

On the eleventh day of Christmas
My Girlfriend gave to me:
Eleven Games of FIFA
Ten Drunken Hipsters
Nine Monkeys Bowling
Eight Mouldy Mushrooms
Seven Packs of Pringles
Six Massive Diggers;
Five Magazines.
Four Kegs of Beer
Three Jumpers
Two Used Tissues
And an Ostrich with a Goatee.

On the twelfth day of Christmas
My Girlfriend gave to me:
Twelve Pretty Roses
Eleven Games of FIFA
Ten Drunken Hipsters
Nine Monkeys Bowling
Eight Mouldy Mushrooms
Seven Packs of Pringles
Six Massive Diggers;
Five Magazines.
Four Kegs of Beer
Three Jumpers
Two Used Tissues
And an Ostrich with a Goatee.

After receiving this mountain of gifts,
I still cannot decide whether they are
The produce of my girlfriend's subtle love
Or a symptom of her insanity.

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